January 2013 Minutes

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Where's My Cow
All members of the group were present, apart from Where's My Cow. It is hoped that he is not MIA following his military service. If it turns out that he has sadly passed away, he will immediately rise to spiritual leader of the group.

Rice and Nan
The Magician would like to know if people would like to order Rice and Nan.

Taiwan 2013
Due to the lack of communication with Where's My Cow, it has been impossible to progress any plans for a meeting in Taiwan for 2013.

Clothing
No progress had been made on clothing. Lamehand will be responsible for design. River Queen and The Flop will be responsible for acquiring good quality tailored shirts.

Next meeting
Not Quite the Man will propose dates for hosting the next meeting, as agreed in the previous meeting.

Lamehand and Half a Hand beer
Lamehand and Half a Hand would like a beer.

Hockey friends
It was agreed that Two Pair's "Hockey Friends" are approximately equal to "Hockey Cunts".

Rice and Nan
What Rice and Nan would people like?

Not Quite the Man Snorting
Not Quite the Man snorted.

Group Size
It was agreed that the group should be capped at 12 members. Any new applicants must write a letter to the chairman, as described on the website.

Rice and Nan
3 plain, 3 peshwari, 3 pilau, 3 boiled.

Not Quite the Man farting
It was requested that Not Quite the Man stop farting.

The Flop
In advance of the meeting a weighted vote had taken place in order to decide whether or not The Flop should be granted full membership. The Flop was commended on his efforts to travel to York to find out the outcome of this decision. Luckily for him, he was granted full membership, and was permitted to stay for the remainder of the evening.

Employment of Half a Hand and Ace Man
Half a Hand and Ace Man were both experiencing troubles with their employers (or lack thereof). The group agreed to provide moral support to both of these members as they make their ways through this troublesome, but undoubtedly short-lived, period of their lives. Same Suit was offered a minor amount of moral support as well, although there are questions as to whether he is deserving of this due to his lack of gratefulness.

Surgery with The Magician
It was noted that The Magician is a qualified doctor, but is yet to perform surgery. Ace Man therefore gladly volunteered to be the first person to go under the knife of the Magician. Ace Man will not know what surgery is to be performed before he goes under anaesthetic.

Is Half a Hand suffering from a case of the Benjamin Button disease?
No he isn't. He is suffering from something quite the opposite.

Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament
The Magician put forward a case for nuclear disarmament, which involved dropping all the current nuclear devices on random parts of the planet Earth. There was a lack of clarity in his proposition, therefore he was asked to go away and create a detailed plan for his proposal. This should be presented at a subsequent meeting and a vote will be taken by the group as to whether this should be taken forward.

Restoration of Slavery
The Magician put forward a case for the restoration of slavery. The slaves would be taken from the proletarian class of Doncaster town, and would serve the group. It was needlessly noted that River Queen is not included in the proletarian class of Doncaster town. The motion was passed, however confusion remains as to the next steps.

Can you prove that 1+1=2?
It was agreed that this should be discussed at a later time.

River Queen should have sex with one of the group tonight
This motion was passed, with all members in favour. It was agreed that the lucky person should be Two Pair.

Pogrom to be brought on Spanish girls working at Mango
Concerns were raised as to whether this would lead to the bruising of fruit. It was decided that this should wait until the next meeting to decide whether this is truly necessary, as we would not like any harm to come to fruit.

Banned Words
It was agreed that four words should be banned from use at meetings of MTMWSOMAJFSH. These words include:

"Melbourne" (when referring to both the city in Australia and the village in Derbyshire)

"Cricket" (when referring to the English summer sport. Snorting cricket is perfectly acceptable, although members should make it clear which version they are referring to)

"Emily" (when referring to Emily Bates)

"Bates" (when referring to Emily Bates)

The utterance of any of these words is punishable by one shot of an alcoholic beverage of at least 75% proof.

The Flop's ranking
The Flop was offered the opportunity to state a case as to where he should start in the hierarchy. He stated a case for a position above Not Quite the Man. His reasons for this included "because everyone takes the piss out of him". His reasons were thought to be wholly unimaginative, and so he will remain at the bottom of the hierarchy. No other changes to the hierarchy were thought to be necessary.

MTMWSOMAJFSH Cards
It was decided that bespoke MTMWSOMAJFSH playing cards should be made. Lamehand is responsible for the design of these.