June 2016 Minutes

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Date: 4th June, 2016

Location: Stratford Road, Sheffield

Apologies received from Two Pair and Half a Hand. These are controversially deemed acceptable. No communication has been had with Not Quite the Man. It is unclear whether Nine High is present, even to those in the room. The Flop was ill and in hospital. He is wished a speedy recovery.

Matters arising from the minutes of the previous meeting
Ace Man opens the dry roasted peanuts.

Shirts
Half a Hand has the shirts. Same Suit tries to call him, but call failed.

Cards
Ace Man has checked the sample packs but cannot conclude whether all the other packs include all the cards. Payment to be with-held until all cards have been checked.

Same Suit suggests we "pay the little shit".

Vote to be taken as to whether we pay. Magician sends whatsapp messages to canvass for votes. Outcome unclear

McClary's appointment
Ace Man emailed the address suggested, but has had no response.

Two Pair's payments to River Queen
These should be included in the gambling totals.

Not Quite the Man
He has not responded to the wedding invitation. Rohit Mistry has not been invited.

The group is concerned whether Not Quite the Man is alive. He has changed is number, so the group try to ring the school switchboard, but there is no answer. An answerphone message is left stating "Dan". Lamehand tries the emergency number, but there is again no reply. Very worrying.

Lamehand asks if Not Quite the Man would find this "purile and immature". River Queen tries a different number, but no answer. Ah well, never mind

Funding from Repton School
Lesum was a very nice guy.

Group bank account
This is all set up and ready.

Ace Man asks if we should all have a card. It is agreed that there should be 3 cards, owned by Two Pair, Where's My Cow and The Flop.

Motion passed.

Lamehands puppy dodger dodger.

Amendments
Two Pair to monitor amendments to the website, and make it known to the group when anyone else makes changes.

Magician makes a nasty comment, but it is agreed not to put this in the minutes.

Half a Hand calls in, whilst playing bat and ball in Chesterfield. Same Suit tells him to come to the poker, but he declines. Half a Hand votes yes to paying the Magician.

Two Pair's gilfriend
He now has a girlfriend.

12% off Firezza pizza. We will play the hoochy coochy game.

Same Suit struggles to recite pi. Lamehand confirms that we missed national pie day.

Green Monkey's Stockholm Syndrome
Green Monkey is recovering well. Green Monkey is in the treehouse. Lamehand is taking off his sandals to go and talk to Green Monkey.

Turkey
Should be spelt "Turky". It would be bad if Russia shot a Turky.

Brexit
Magician is voting out of the EU, due to reasons of "chaos". Same Suit is voting in so that he can keep your girlfriend.

Number of games
It is agreed to play 2 games, with 20 min blinds.

Lamehand offers to get a round of drinks. Lamehand and Same Suit debate who drives to the dogs. Magician proposes we play croquet, poker and order a curry. Motion passed.

Ace Man asks if Magician is looking forward to the white shirts so that the dandruff won't be as obvious. The Magician dies inside.

Magician asks River Queen to bend over. River Queen laughs nervously, whilst waving a wooden pole.

Annabelle is disgusted at how the Magician is living in New Zealand. She instructs Same Suit to slap him round the head.

Magician mentions that he is only missing Two Pair from today. He asks Annabelle if she'd like to play poker, but she declines as she is getting her hair done.

There is a toast to River Queen's impending divorce.

Sheffield Wednesday losing at Wembley
River Queen is very happy.

Free alcohol at Villages Brewery
Villages will host one night of free beer. They will decide which night, and no beer will be free on any other days.

Rankings
The Flop's belly is in a bad way, but has been for years.

Ace Man's face looks like a 1980s vagina according to Sam Cook's mother-in-law.

The group watched a video of The Flop on a quad bike on Monday.

Magician proposes that River Queen moves above Lamehand whilst he is at the loo. Motion carried. Lamehand returns from the loo.

River Queen returns to original position in rankings.

She who shall not be named is still alive.

Nine High is moved to the bottom of the rankings due to lack of apology.

Hassop Hall
The Flop recommends Hassop Hall, however it is not close. Ace Man confirms, but says we must ask Charlie Margesson. He is not connected to Hassop Hall. Ace Man apologises.

Has anyone heard from Pete Baker? He used to faint when he got a boner standing up.

Rohit should be invited to River Queen's wedding
No

Should Same Suit vote to leave EU?
Yes. He should distance himself from the Isle of Mann.

Nine High WhatsApps. He is actually at his girlfriend's birthday drinks, not playing bat and ball. Awkward silence.

Same Suit states that the voting is immature and purile.

The Magician is weating a shirt, but it is not clear whether it is a poker shirt as it seems to be covered in snow.

Lamehand is not ready for the EU vote.