May 2020 Minutes

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Date: 8th May, 2020

Location: Zoom, Global

Matters arising from the minutes of the previous meeting
Patrick Foster had a great bowling average. Richard Foster is awkward.

Shirts
The Flop claims that the shirts are counterfeit. What he actually means is that some of them have single cuffs, and some have double cuffs. It is unclear how this indicates that they are fake, but it may be the case.

Are we a charity? Should we be getting a government grant under the Coronavirus Government support?

It seems that Half a Hand wore half the shirts, and then replaced them with shirts of a different cuff.

A vote is taken on the motion of '''Half a Hand to buy double cuff shirts to replace the single cuff shirts. '''Motion passed.

The Flop will tell Half a Hand which sizes to buy by the end of 10th May 2020.

Do we drink slower on Zoom? If so, Same Suit must be very dehydrated.

Half a Hand will get the new shirts to The Flop by 31st May 2020.

Half a Hand is being flaccid.

Subscriptions
Half a Hand, Lamehand and Two Pair are the only members currently paying their subs.

Ace Man has been donating for years. However he has been sending it to the wrong account.

Same Suit and Nine High agree to backdate all payments once shirts have been embroidered.

Lamehand is welcomed to the meeting. Not Quite the Man is reading the news.

£67.50 is outstanding for all members that haven't been paid. This is waived for Ace Man as he has been donating his to someone random. We are a charitable organisation after all it seems.

Two Pair is still paying £11/month to River Queen. This finishes in October 2021.

River Queen has agreed to pay half of the subs owed now, and will pay the balance on receiving her shirt.

Half a Hand to send bank details and amounts required on the WhatsApp thread.

The Search for Green Monkey in Barbados
Half a Hand visited Barbados and found the Green Monkey hotel. He did not find Green Monkey however.

Maybe Ace Man has been sending his subscription to Green Monkey? Ace Man to confirm.

Karlie
Where's My Cow is no longer with Karlie. He is the only single member of the group. He is focusing on his role as Spiritual Leader.

Support for Hong Kong protests
Where's My Cow has not drafted the letter of support to the Hong Kong government. Where's My Cow agrees to draft letter by 10th May 2020.

Where's My Cow will also create some MTMWSOMAJFSH letterhead.

Does Not Quite the Man support free speech in Hong Kong? He answers "Yes, No" and returns to watching the news. '''Where's My Cow will send the letter to Not Quite the Man. '''It is unclear why this is helpful in any way.

Rankings
The Flop proposed that Half a Hand is moved down 5 places in the rankings. Half a Hand stated in the last meeting that he would take this group global and he has not. If we had all gone to Taiwan then we would not be constrained by lockdown like in the UK. However, Lamehand states that it would be a disaster to be stuck in Taiwan. Regardless, there are only 4 places below Half a Hand in the rankings. Motion not passed.

Half a Hand proposes that Nine High is moved up 1 place in the rankings above The Flop. Half a Hand delivers a Churchillian speech about the exemplary behaviour that Nine High has displayed over the last few years, which was very fitting given it is the 75th anniversary of VE day. Not Quite the Man gets a chicken burger delivered. Half a Hand claims that Nine High was an original member, which is far from the truth. Motion not passed.

Half a Hand proposes that the Magician moves down 1 place in the rankings. It can't be that important to him if he cannot attend a virtual meeting. This will move River Queen up one. Motion passed.

Green Monkey is still held in high regard.

Half a Hand proposes that Not Quite the Man moves down 1 place in the rankings. Not Quite the Man is not paying attention. He agrees. Motion not passed.

Half a Hand proposes that Lamehand moves up 1 place above Same Suit in the rankings. Lamehand has a great beard and a tan, and his background looks good too. Half a Hand has a massive decanter. Not Quite the Man is still finishing his chips. Motion passed.

The Flop proposes that Nine High moves above Half a Hand in the rankings. Motion withdrawn.

Making our Spiritual Leader the Spiritual Leader for the UK
Where's My Cow has been making donations of Personal Protective Equipment to the NHS. As recognition for this, he should become Spiritual Leader of the UK.

Where's My Cow suggests that the Queen should continue her role as Spiritual Leader of the UK (given she is head of the Church of England). Where's My Cow would prefer to be Spiritual Leader of Taiwan like Kim Jong-un.

Where's My Cow is drunk, and is struggling with English. Motion passed.

The group thinks he is capable of bigger things. As Spiritual Leader of the UK, Where's My Cow to eradicate Covid-19 in the UK by 8th May 2021 to demonstrate this.

In the meantime, we should lease the Queen to Sweden. Not Quite the Man to draft a letter to the Queen.

Poker arrangement
Nine High states that the arrangement of the poker game tonight (responsibility of Same Suit) has been a shambles.

Ace Man states that it should be plain-sailing. We will play one game using Poker Now.

Where's My Cow states that it is such an impressive achievement of Not Quite the Man to be head of Science at a prestigious school, only 8 years after being hit round the head with a pillow to try and remove water from his ear.

As we are not in person, it is not clear how we should all collect and distribute money. A motion is suggested that: Motion passed.
 * 1) Everyone should pay the organisation bank account by either bank transfer or cheque by the 31st May.
 * 2) Half a Hand will write a cheque to the winners in June.
 * 3) Half a Hand will send the cheques to Two Pair to counter-sign.
 * 4) Two Pair will send the cheques to the winners.

The Flop to not be allowed to suggest votes
Half a Hand suggests that the amount of times The Flop suggests votes on matters is getting tiresome. He should not be allowed to suggest a vote on anything until the shirts have been embroidered. Some people keep delivering. The Flop keeps on conjecturing. Half a Hand keeps on counting numbers.

One team, one dream. Motion not passed.

Internet Banking
Ace Man suggests we bring this group into the 21st Century. How many people on Monzo? Only 3.

How many people on Revolut? Only 2.

We will stick with NatWest. Motion to set up Internet Banking on NatWest. Motion Passed.

The Magician
The Magician should always be on the agenda.

He has a nice house, but he is living in his garage where the booze is.

AOB
It was suggested that we should plan an international meeting. Given the current environment with Covid-19, this is not the right time.

How many chicken sandwiches as Not Quite the Man has? He should do a truffle shuffle.