September 2015 Minutes

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Date: 19th September 2015

Location: Same Suit's dining room, Putney, London.

Marcus Brenchley
For inexplicable reasons, Marcus Brenchley was present at the beginning of the meeting. This was partly the fault of Half a Hand and The Flop for inviting him to the area, and partly Same Suit for saying to him that he could come to watch to poker.

Half a Hand spoke first on the subject. He recognised the integrity of the group, but thought that the group should make Marcus feel welcome, as he was there at no fault of his own. Ace Man subsequently welcomed Marcus.

Ace Man reiterated that Marcus would need to write a letter if he desired to join the group. Two Pair pointed out that there was precedence for others to play at least one or two games, since Random Guy was invited to play by the Magician's mother in December 2006. Ace Man however said that it wouldn't have happened if he was present, and he would have told Annabel to stick it up her arse.

Half a Hand says he has spoken. In reality, he bumbled.

The Flop says he would like to speak, but then fails to say anything.

Marcus Brenchley was invited to speak. He said he recognises that he can't play/be part of the group, but he would like to stick around for the "banter".

The Flop has a crack.

Marcus Brenchley was asked to leave the room. Same Suit thought the situation was hilarious. Half a Hand didn't.

Ace Man stated that this situation was unacceptable, and should never happen again. The group decided that Marcus Brenchley should not be told to leave, given that he was here at the fault of the members, and instead should be invited to deal.

MTMWSOMAJFSH Shirts
Magician had seemingly made no progress on organising the design of the group logo. Half a Hand admitted to wearing everyone's unembroidered new shirts to work. Half a Hand will buy a new set of shirts, and The Flop will get them embroidered with a simple but elegant typeface (initials on the cuffs, group name across the breast).

Members will send sizes round the WhatsApp thread when requested by Half a Hand (who needs to clarify sizing guide), and the shirts will be ready for the next meeting.

MTMWSOMAJFSH cards
Magician had seemingly made no progress on producing group poker cards. The Magician should arrange for between 30 and 200 packs of cards to be put into production by the end of the calendar year.

McClary's employment
Not Quite the Man had failed to make contact with the head boy/girl of Bryanstone college. Ace Man will take this responsibility.

Funding from Repton school
The Flop had failed to write a letter to be sent to Repton School. Where's My Cow suggested that Lamehand should contact the headmaster, as he once did a career talk there. Lamehand said he was unlikely to be doing any career talks in the near future as he doesn't have a career.

The Flop should make a better attempt at drafting a letter by the next meeting. Two Pair will send him instructions for the letter via WhatsApp.

Group bank account
Half a Hand had failed to set up a bank account. It was decided that the group should instead set up an account at a building society. The Flop agreed to aid Half a Hand in this.

Half a Hand should send the account details round the group within 30 days, so that all members can set up their standing order of £2.50/month membership subscriptions.

Is Lishing lipreading the TV?

This sort of behaviour should not continue.

Nine High licks Same Suit's arse. The Flop has a crack.

Ranking
It was agreed that Where's My Cow, as spiritual leader, should be moved up the group.

Given that the Magician had moved to New Zealand and failed to carry out any of his responsibilities, he should be moved down. Despite the fact that Same Suit had committed one of the worst offences ever in the group, it was decided that 7 years was sufficient time to let something go.

Same Suit tries to throw a bottle cap out of the window and misses.

Nine High is hilarious. Half a Hand mumbles. Nine High moves up.

Half a Hand doesn't want to go down. He does.

Lamehand is moved above River Queen due to her lack of availability to attend, and her forthcoming marriage.

The Flop wants to move up, but fails to provide any reason why he should, apart from that "it's bullshit". The Flop is utterly butterly disappointed.

Nine High remembers Not Quite the Man's fart from last year. Bad memories.

No. games per night
It was agreed that there should still be 3 games played, with the first game at least being a "turbo" round.

Nine High hosting
It was agreed that Nine High should host in the Isle of Man during the TT.

Article in the Arch
It was agreed that this should be written once the group has visited Taiwan. Where's My Cow agreed that if there is a hospitality box at the racecourse that their family part owns, it will be named after the group.

Two Pair's debt
Half a Hand says River Queen is a dirty bitch.

10th Anniversary of the group
Ace Man raised the fact that it would be the group's 10th Anniversary in June 2016. It was suggested that the group should meet in Taiwan to celebrate this occasion.

Where's My Cow agreed that he would be able to cover hotel expenses for a limited amount of time in Taiwan.

Half a Hand is to organise flights to Taiwan, once dates are agreed.

Syria and Isis
Where's My Cow asks which one we should bomb first.

Ace Man says he doesn't mind refugees, and wants to give money to charity. Two Pair disagrees, partly because the group doesn't have any funds.

The Flop would like to see River Queen in see-through panties. Half a Hand seconds this.

River Queen's infidelity
River Queen is due to be married to a non-member of MTMWSOMAJFSH in 2016.

Where's My Cow questions why this counts as infidelity. Two Pair explains that the group had agreed that she should be married to Two Pair. Where's My Cow understands.

The group feels sad.

Half a Hand states that he had really hoped it would be one of the group. Same Suit says he is looking forward to the wedding.

Lamehand's beard
Nice.

Ace Man comments on Nine High's beard. It is unknown what this comment was.

The Flop's birthday
The Flop invited the group to celebrate his birthday on the 31st October at Twickenham.

Nine High is going to a U2 concert at the 02 arena, so will not be able to attend.

Are red 'ns allowed?
It was agreed that a £50 note could be used to pay the stake for the poker. However, no change would be given.

MCC
There was an irrelevant discussion about the Marylebone Cricket Club, which unfortunately involved discussing Bet Small. Half a Hand says Bet Small disappoints him, as he is a lazy bastard.

Two Pair's relationships
Two Pair was given a round of applause for not having a girlfriend. Half a Hand mumbles.

Portugal
Half a Hand states that the group should go to Portugal again.